I would like to introduce one of fave people who is just as insane as I am. Twenty something hottie from the DC area currently living...elsewhere. She will be sharing her thoughts here from time to time so here goes it...
So I'm really not using this as an outlet to bitch about guys and theincredibly frustrating post-college dating scene, REALLY... But humor mefor a minute because I think based on all the shit I hear from myfriends you can probably relate and if not you can read it and thinkwell at least I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of nonsense.In my humble opinion I think that the best friend-boyfriend introductionis a very delicate situation and all parties must be on their bestbehavior but the new MAN is the one who needs to step up and impress.The best friend is untouchable... that's standard procedure. Anyway Ihad an unfortunate run-in recently and here it is.
Not to bore you but you need a little background on this scene: over thesummer I was home in the DC area doing an internship for a few monthsbefore moving to Chicago. Majorly on the rebound after OFFICIALLYending things with College Boyfriend I met Singer/Songwriter... perfectfor a summer fling as he was doing nothing before starting NYU MusicSchool in the fall. We had a good thing going for a few months, knowingthe expiration date was my departure and continued to keep in touchafterwards. A couple weeks ago oh-so-generous Singer/Songwriter bookedme a ticket to New York for a weekend sex-sesh as well as to be his dateto an intimate family gathering his parents were hosting at the YaleClub...very posh and unexpected as we had always kept our relationship"casual" to say the least.
I show up in Manhattan and things get off to a great start - good sex,fun witty banter... you know the deal. Saturday night was the familygala and I must say I did a PHENOM job as the pretend girlfriend.Singer/Songwriter loved it. Anyway, patting myself on the back for ajob well done, I figured it would be the perfect opportunity tointroduce Singer/Songwriter to long-time BFF who happens to live in NewYork.
We scheduled a little doub-date boozy brunch on Sunday with BFF and hernew man. Now BFF is a little... out there. I wouldn't call her anacquired taste but she is definitely OUTgoing and OUTspoken and...aggressive. Aggressive meaning talking about her threesome in theHamptons over brunch and discussing her new vibrator purchase over beersfollowing brunch. I'm loving it because quite frankly she'shilarious... maybe it was a bit much if you were meeting her for thefirst time. I'll admit it. However... the BFF is ALWAYS untouchable.That is a longstanding rule. Singer/Songwriter must not have been awareof this, because after leaving brunch/bar (during which he spoke barely2 words) he proceeded to baaaash her. "Insane," "unstable," and "crazy"all made their way into the conversation... which is one of the lastconversations I've had with him. Done.
Too harsh? You decide.
M.Chastity
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Untouchable BFF
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5 comments:
@M: Do you want anything with this guy? I feel like i'm missing the part of the story of why he needed you to front like his girlfriend? Does he want something with you? Do you want something with him? If the answer is no to those two questions then fugg it who cares.. it isnt harsh. The other thing is that he may not have known that bff was untouchable in terms of opinion but he shoulda kept that shat to himself.
It is imperative that anyone you are dating, screwing, befriending...whatever the case may be...never bash the BFF. Im not bashing you because you want me to be your "pretend" girlfriend for the weekend.(how lame is that?) So dont bash my BFF no matter how...ummm..."colorful" her crazy ass may be.Sir? Take the stick out of your ass and laugh! Thanks.
No boyfriend and ESPECIALLY no jumpoff should come into my life sharing his opinions about my friends. He is there for sex, not to give opinions. He needs to do his job and shut the fug up. I don't believe that a person's boyfriend and friends need to get along... if they do they do that's great, if they don't they just don't... and in the case of some random dude I'm having a casual fling with I certainly don't give a damn.
I agree with Jolie... the more important issue here is why he needs to have a "fake" girlfriend for his family (I thought only gay men did that) and what exactly the two of you want from each other. Perhaps things have changed on the dating scene but I think the lines of fling (jumpoff) and boyfriend are being blurred too much here.
When reading this my first thought was yes a bit too harsh, but as someone else said if this was strictly casual and really wasnt going anywhere then...hey no love lost. But in the future if you are introducing a serious boyfriend to the bff maybe you should prep him or something cuz you know your friends better than anyone else so you know how they will behave..he wont. What you thought was hilarious he deemed inappropriate...I really cant fault the guy for that she's your friend not his
You guys totally called me out! I love it you're so right the underlying thing here is the totally undefined relationship I have with this guy... for now I'm thinking different cities/no relationship. If he wants to come out here or if we see each other in DC that's cool but I'm not doing the long distance thing. And then I definitely wont need to worry about him getting along with my buds.
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