So I think this is a perfect follow up to my post yesterday. This can be what happens when you dont medicate your tourettes and the tables end up turning...ON YOU. (perhaps I will just stfu.sigh) Without further adieu here's my girl M.Chastity...
The Invisible (Uncrossable) Line: Best Friends and Advice
I've been on both sides of the conversation in the last two weeks with my roommate/best friend. Her situation: dating a guy who is pretty perfect on paper (good looking, kind of like Brody Jenner but gayer,good job, nice family, nice apartment… you get the gist) but their relationship leaves a lot to be desired. From a third-party perspective he's moody, withholds affection, and doesn't give it up in the bedroom nearly as much as she would want. All unacceptable in my mind.
My situation: reconnected with an ex whom I had previouslysworn off "forever" for a weekend of talking and catching up (but NOT having sex… yes, really, I swear).
Our relationship (roomie and myself that is) is very open and we feel free to offer unsolicited advice frequently. Now most of the time whether we agree with the advice or not we let it roll off our backs…the other one undoubtedly means well. HOWEVER. We each have made the mistake of overstepping our boundaries and commenting on something that hits a sore spot and just pisses the other one off. Clearly every relationship has its flaws and when you see something crystal-clearly you want to help a girl out!
I made a comment to herabout 'Brody' last week that she clearly did not appreciate… honestly I made several and I'm not sure which one triggered the claws to comeout but let me tell ya, I knew I had erred. Well this past weekend I got mine. As an outsider and someone who cares about me, roomie hadto warn me about getting sucked into this less-than-ideal conversation with Ex-Boyfriend, I totally get it. I would have done the same. But somewhere along the line she went a little too far in assessing his personality flaws and it REALLY stung… and I was the one who was PISSED. As much as you think you know someone else's business the truth is you don't know it as well as they do and you definitely don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I learned my lesson… I might be keeping my mouth shut a little more these days.
M.Chastity
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Posted by JP Red at 9:30 AM
Labels: Best friends and Advice
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2 comments:
It's great that M. learned a lesson from the whole thing... that's what it's all about. It is so much easier to feel you know everything about others while insisting that they don't know anything about you.
Friends are great for teaching us lessons about ourselves, I know mine have taught me some!!... and hopefully vise versa.
Everyone has such different opinions too... like I don't think any of those three things are total deal breakers if everything else is there, but that would of course depend on how moody, non- affectionate and how little sexual interaction they were having (a whole different topic!)lol. And most of us have had an ex that has taken us a while to shake... there was reason we were with them in the first place and it's not always so easily forgotten!
Friends shouldn't be around to judge us (unless there is some kind of abuse or danger involved... then call the damn cops)... they should be around to hand us that bottle of wine when what they thought might happen, actually happens!
I agree... it's hard to judge someone else's relationship because you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. We only see a small piece of the puzzle!
I talked to Roomie about her advice the next time she offered it up (later that day... lol) and she got the message. I think she gets it too.
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